Saturday, September 22, 2007

In His Eyes

Chocolate brown skirt. Alas! After sifting through the rack, I thought I must have it. It should be the first skirt I’d ever have in my closet. I hurried to the fitting room and tried it on, which took me a few minutes. The other ladies outside must have already been annoyed, but I couldn’t care less. I simply stared at myself in the mirror, not even attempting to turn around to get a better look. Not an angle could give a better look anyway. I sighed then finally decided to put my jeans back on. I lifted the skirt, disappointed.

To add up on my excitement-turned-frustration episode, as soon as I stepped out of the fitting room, right in front of me was a tall, slender lady with long hair, wearing a casual white tank top and a flowing floral skirt, fit for the summer. Yeah right, thanks for that one, I thought, then slipped through the pack of all the other girls hurrying for the last day of sale.

Isn’t it exasperating to want something so badly and yet you can’t have it for several reasons you just refuse to accept? This may mirror just a petty incident that all of us face in our daily, should I say struggles, in life.

Most of us crave for things that we believe can make us look good. We follow fashion trends and admire those TV icons wearing some signatures clothes that make us want to look just like them, and we feel bad if we don’t. We set aside a huge deal of our income for something to buy for ourselves: a new pair of shoes, new cocktail dress for “emergency” purposes, new bangles and accessories, or a chocolate brown skirt. We are bombarded by the special services from the medical experts and we fall for all the “you need me” products. But I’ve got news for you, we really don’t.

And why exactly do we want to look good? To make us feel good about ourselves? To get approval from other people? All for show. We love to see people swooning as we pass by or at least whisper “I love that top, where did she get that?” We stand tall, thinking yeah I’m beautiful.

And after that, what?

Does the color of our skin tell the goodness of our thoughts? Does the amount of fat we have suggest what’s inside our hearts? Do the clothes we wear reflect our capability to love and care for other people? Or does the paint we use in our face define who we truly are? I must say, absolutely not. Although our being can never be equaled to what is visible to us, it’s tough to see right through one’s heart, because we are easily deceived by what is seen by our naked eyes.

The good news is there is someone who would not give even the slightest value on everything physical about us. We may be the fattest creature on earth that we just have bulges everywhere, or we may have the roughest skin that could be mistaken from a pumice stone, but He just wouldn’t care. We may have exaggeratedly active oil glands that produce the worst acne or we may not be able to wear the very style we want, but it’s still not going to get His attention.

There is a whole lot more in this world that is far more important than what we believe is a life-and-death situation in terms of physical appearance. The top models with the most perfect body do not necessarily mean they are happy. It’s not of this body that defines us. It’s nothing but flesh. And our God is least concerned about the flesh. Let us not overemphasize on what can be seen physically. We are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. We are unique in every way. And God has made us for more meaningful purposes than to just look good.

A short story mentions an old man who would fit to the word ugly. Yes that’s the word: ugly. Yet, people love him for his genuine and sincere heart, making him the most beautiful person they have ever met. It may sound cliché but it’s true. When I was battling with a skin allergy that led me to the point of hopelessness, I cried out to God and He did comfort me. He knew what I was going through and He showed me mercy. Then a good friend told me: You know what, healing your skin is the least that God can do for you.

This isn’t just about physical appearance. It’s all about who we are in God’s eyes. We can’t pretend with Him, nor can we deceive Him. Despite the most expensive clothes we wear, we are naked in Him. And I think pleasing my God is more important than placing a show for all these people who know not a single thing about me. I’d rather be the ugliest person on earth, yet the most radiant, beautiful angel in His eyes.

In His Eyes

Chocolate brown skirt. Alas! After sifting through the rack, I thought I must have it. It should be the first skirt I’d ever have in my closet. I hurried to the fitting room and tried it on, which took me a few minutes. The other ladies outside must have already been annoyed, but I couldn’t care less. I simply stared at myself in the mirror, not even attempting to turn around to get a better look. Not an angle could give a better look anyway. I sighed then finally decided to put my jeans back on. I lifted the skirt, disappointed.

To add up on my excitement-turned-frustration episode, as soon as I stepped out of the fitting room, right in front of me was a tall, slender lady with long hair, wearing a casual white tank top and a flowing floral skirt, fit for the summer. Yeah right, thanks for that one, I thought, then slipped through the pack of all the other girls hurrying for the last day of sale.

Isn’t it exasperating to want something so badly and yet you can’t have it for several reasons you just refuse to accept? This may mirror just a petty incident that all of us face in our daily, should I say struggles, in life.

Most of us crave for things that we believe can make us look good. We follow fashion trends and admire those TV icons wearing some signatures clothes that make us want to look just like them, and we feel bad if we don’t. We set aside a huge deal of our income for something to buy for ourselves: a new pair of shoes, new cocktail dress for “emergency” purposes, new bangles and accessories, or a chocolate brown skirt. We are bombarded by the special services from the medical experts and we fall for all the “you need me” products. But I’ve got news for you, we really don’t.

And why exactly do we want to look good? To make us feel good about ourselves? To get approval from other people? All for show. We love to see people swooning as we pass by or at least whisper “I love that top, where did she get that?” We stand tall, thinking yeah I’m beautiful.

And after that, what?

Does the color of our skin tell the goodness of our thoughts? Does the amount of fat we have suggest what’s inside our hearts? Do the clothes we wear reflect our capability to love and care for other people? Or does the paint we use in our face define who we truly are? I must say, absolutely not. Although our being can never be equaled to what is visible to us, it’s tough to see right through one’s heart, because we are easily deceived by what is seen by our naked eyes.

The good news is there is someone who would not give even the slightest value on everything physical about us. We may be the fattest creature on earth that we just have bulges everywhere, or we may have the roughest skin that could be mistaken from a pumice stone, but He just wouldn’t care. We may have exaggeratedly active oil glands that produce the worst acne or we may not be able to wear the very style we want, but it’s still not going to get His attention.

There is a whole lot more in this world that is far more important than what we believe is a life-and-death situation in terms of physical appearance. The top models with the most perfect body do not necessarily mean they are happy. It’s not of this body that defines us. It’s nothing but flesh. And our God is least concerned about the flesh. Let us not overemphasize on what can be seen physically. We are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. We are unique in every way. And God has made us for more meaningful purposes than to just look good.

A short story mentions an old man who would fit to the word ugly. Yes that’s the word: ugly. Yet, people love him for his genuine and sincere heart, making him the most beautiful person they have ever met. It may sound cliché but it’s true. When I was battling with a skin condition that led me to the point of hopelessness, I cried out to God and He did comfort me. He knew what I was going through and He showed me mercy. Then a good friend told me: You know what, healing your skin is the least that God can do for you.

This isn’t just about the skin anymore, nor is it about physical appearance. It’s all about who we are in God’s eyes. We can’t pretend with Him, nor can we deceive Him. Despite the most expensive clothes we wear, we are naked in Him. And I think pleasing my God is more important than placing a show for all these people who know not a single thing about me. I’d rather be the ugliest person on earth, yet the most radiant, beautiful angel in His eyes.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Only A Dot There

We all go through certain kinds of misery in our life. The feeling of being alone, abandoned, worthless, and hopeless is not uncommon. We think we’ve gone through all possible troubles anyone could ever imagine. We think we’ve just had enough.

Is this all there is in this life? Nothing but pure hardships? We struggle for more than 20 years of our life trying to learn everything needed in order to live. We struggle for another 20 to 30 years finding life’s meaning, trying to jail ourselves in the world we created- work, all sorts of relationships, goals. For the remaining 20 to, luckily, 30 years of our life, we hope to see ourselves content with the fruits of hard work in all those years. It’s funny how we saved up and prepared for these last years of our life, only to spend it trying to struggle from an illness and a new batch of pure hardships. We struggle from another phase of seeking for answers. Have I lived my life well? And in the process, we still end up frustrated, incomplete, empty.

Truly, life is all about sufferings. We live in this sinful world where comfort and happiness are always backed with distress and anguish. We have our own difficulties. We’re not in a battle of comparison of who has endured more of life’s setbacks. We don’t compete for a prize for life’s sufferings that whoever has the most would be rewarded in the end. If so, everybody would pray not for blessings but sufferings.

Consequently, we grumble. We all think we’re not worthy of all the bad things that happen to us. We believe that we’re innocent enough to have to go through life’s challenges. And most often than not, we don’t even consider it a challenge. We deem it a curse inflicted on us only to make us suffer. We complain that life is truly unfair.

Indeed it is. Nobody promised that living this life would be easy. Nobody claimed that the 70, 80 years of our lifetime would be a bed of roses. Yes we have our own difficulties- lost jobs, material insufficiencies, physical disabilities, health concerns, broken relationships- and we find ourselves having all these familiar feeling: alone, abandoned, worthless, hopeless.

If life is nothing but pure misery, what is there to be hopeful for?

We may be experiencing the most terrible agony in life. We may be born with physical handicap, we may have lost our loved ones from a tragic accident, or we may have suffered abuse from other people. In spite of all the seemingly bad luck that happens to us, it can only affect us to the extent that we allow it to. Zooming in to every suffering makes us blind from everything else- things that we ought to be thankful for. It may be a special skill, love and support from friends and family, the fact that we’re still breathing, the fact that each day, we’re given a chance to make our life better.

It’s not the suffering that matters; it’s how we triumph from it. How, then, do we succeed? Can we make it through if we cling on to something of this world? Certainly not. Only if we learn to fully submit ourselves to that someone greater than all of us that we will be able to embrace life’s miseries. God assured us that no matter what happens, He will never abandon us nor forsake us. Our God is the maker of heaven and earth. He is all powerful and almighty. No problem is big enough for God. He hears us, He listens. He deeply cares for us. Knowing that God is our fortress, would there still be a room for doubt? Would there still be a room for worry? Would there still be a room for fear? Not a chance.

Despite all the bad things happening to us, as if being done to us in purpose, we still have something to rejoice for, to be hopeful for, because in the end of it all, whoever remains in Him, will be welcomed in His kingdom. Isn’t it a great promise? Should we still bug ourselves with the 70, 80 years of our life knowing that as we go to our final sleep, we have a reward that’s far greater than we can ever imagine?

Let us not lose ourselves on our sufferings. In God’s eyes, the bigger picture is far more important than the most depressing thing that we felt, the gravest thing that we endure. Those are in all sense, nothing. Life on earth is no doubt only a dot in eternity. All the pain in this world is nothing but a dust blown away by the loving care of our Father.