Saturday, September 22, 2007

In His Eyes

Chocolate brown skirt. Alas! After sifting through the rack, I thought I must have it. It should be the first skirt I’d ever have in my closet. I hurried to the fitting room and tried it on, which took me a few minutes. The other ladies outside must have already been annoyed, but I couldn’t care less. I simply stared at myself in the mirror, not even attempting to turn around to get a better look. Not an angle could give a better look anyway. I sighed then finally decided to put my jeans back on. I lifted the skirt, disappointed.

To add up on my excitement-turned-frustration episode, as soon as I stepped out of the fitting room, right in front of me was a tall, slender lady with long hair, wearing a casual white tank top and a flowing floral skirt, fit for the summer. Yeah right, thanks for that one, I thought, then slipped through the pack of all the other girls hurrying for the last day of sale.

Isn’t it exasperating to want something so badly and yet you can’t have it for several reasons you just refuse to accept? This may mirror just a petty incident that all of us face in our daily, should I say struggles, in life.

Most of us crave for things that we believe can make us look good. We follow fashion trends and admire those TV icons wearing some signatures clothes that make us want to look just like them, and we feel bad if we don’t. We set aside a huge deal of our income for something to buy for ourselves: a new pair of shoes, new cocktail dress for “emergency” purposes, new bangles and accessories, or a chocolate brown skirt. We are bombarded by the special services from the medical experts and we fall for all the “you need me” products. But I’ve got news for you, we really don’t.

And why exactly do we want to look good? To make us feel good about ourselves? To get approval from other people? All for show. We love to see people swooning as we pass by or at least whisper “I love that top, where did she get that?” We stand tall, thinking yeah I’m beautiful.

And after that, what?

Does the color of our skin tell the goodness of our thoughts? Does the amount of fat we have suggest what’s inside our hearts? Do the clothes we wear reflect our capability to love and care for other people? Or does the paint we use in our face define who we truly are? I must say, absolutely not. Although our being can never be equaled to what is visible to us, it’s tough to see right through one’s heart, because we are easily deceived by what is seen by our naked eyes.

The good news is there is someone who would not give even the slightest value on everything physical about us. We may be the fattest creature on earth that we just have bulges everywhere, or we may have the roughest skin that could be mistaken from a pumice stone, but He just wouldn’t care. We may have exaggeratedly active oil glands that produce the worst acne or we may not be able to wear the very style we want, but it’s still not going to get His attention.

There is a whole lot more in this world that is far more important than what we believe is a life-and-death situation in terms of physical appearance. The top models with the most perfect body do not necessarily mean they are happy. It’s not of this body that defines us. It’s nothing but flesh. And our God is least concerned about the flesh. Let us not overemphasize on what can be seen physically. We are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. We are unique in every way. And God has made us for more meaningful purposes than to just look good.

A short story mentions an old man who would fit to the word ugly. Yes that’s the word: ugly. Yet, people love him for his genuine and sincere heart, making him the most beautiful person they have ever met. It may sound cliché but it’s true. When I was battling with a skin condition that led me to the point of hopelessness, I cried out to God and He did comfort me. He knew what I was going through and He showed me mercy. Then a good friend told me: You know what, healing your skin is the least that God can do for you.

This isn’t just about the skin anymore, nor is it about physical appearance. It’s all about who we are in God’s eyes. We can’t pretend with Him, nor can we deceive Him. Despite the most expensive clothes we wear, we are naked in Him. And I think pleasing my God is more important than placing a show for all these people who know not a single thing about me. I’d rather be the ugliest person on earth, yet the most radiant, beautiful angel in His eyes.

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