Sunday, February 8, 2009

Near-Death or Dream?

3 am. I was awakened by my one-month old niece's cry. I share the same room with her and her mom. Instead of being annoyed, I couldn't help myself laughing at the sound of the baby's cry as if she were crying her heart out, pleading for someone (my sister) to give her some milk.

As I had already lost my peace in sleeping, I decided to listen to my ipod: Book of Revelation. I set the sleep timer after 15 minutes trusting that it would not take me longer than that to fall asleep. But I guess listening at that last book of the New Testament at around 3 am was too far from hearing a lullaby, as I kept turning my ipod on after every 15-minute sleep and ended up listening to the entire 22 chapters.

It was my first time to hear Revelation even if I've always been curious about it. I don't know if it was a good idea to have had it heard, rather than read straight from the bible. I have to tell you honestly, it was scary. What would happen on the great tribulation is nothing petty. Just thinking about it makes me tremble with fear. How much more having those thoughts at 3am when the baby had already stopped crying and feeling that anything can happen any minute?

The thought of heaven and hell was the last thing on my mind while I was trying to get back to sleep. I was trying to figure out how heaven looks like and how miserable people would be in hell after the judgment day when I felt something heavy on me. I felt myself starting to detach from my own body, slowly floating in the air. I thought I was having a nightmare, but I figured it was different. It was not as if I couldn't move like how I've had my nightmares before. I just felt myself floating.

At first I panicked, thinking that it may be the rapture just as it was said in the bible. I was afraid. Death scares me, especially when it isn't my own death I'm talking about. But I realized, life after death is even more frightening when you're not certain if you will experience eternal glory with God or eternal sufferings and pain on endless fire. Am I going to heaven? The thought of the possibility of me going to hell was just so terrifying. I know I have accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior, but He remains to be the judge.

While consumed by my worries in mid-air, I suddenly heard sounds of trumpets. It was gentle, calming, and welcoming. I began to be at peace and wondered if it were heaven calling me. I know it sounds weird but instantly, the fear of death escaped me and I said, if it's time then I'd be glad to go.

Then, I woke up at my alarm at 5am.

I don't know if it were just a byproduct of hearing the book of Revelation or a mere imagination on my sleep. I'm not even sure if it were just a dream or was it a reminder of the truth of what God has spoken of hundreds of years ago?

I've always believed in heaven. But that welcoming sounds of trumpet, whether or not it was just a dream confirmed in my innermost being that heaven does exist.

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